Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Blood Diamond

Did you ever wonder why the sky is blue or the carpet is red?
You handed away everything we could have had for a moment in the sun
15 minutes of fun
Perhaps your shoes grace that color because of blood that was shed

Years of bleeding dreams, broken hearts
A red river of failure streaming through forgotten parts

Was it all worth it in the end?
Did you get your big house with your validation parked outside? 
At the cost of a future, a family, a best friend 
How much did you actually end up paying for that ride?

As you walk down that isle 
That glowing row of flashes and smiles
You convince yourself you have nothing to lose 
But as you walk all over me, just don't forget to wash the blood off your shoes

7 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Aw, Chrishell. If this is what it reads... I'm sorry. You remain an inspiration.

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  3. I'm sorry you have to go through this. It hurts so bad to be left for someone or something else. Living happily and proving that they don't matter in your life is the best revenge.

    Jodi

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  4. Chrishell, you just keep valuing yourself and in the long run it will all work out. Meanwhile, venting is chicken soup for the soul. MEN!!!!

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  5. He just opened the door for someone great to enter into your life. His loss :)

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  6. Before I get into how this can be a positive thing for you, I'm going to go ahead and admit the suckiness of it all.

    You spend time with someone, you share important things with him, you develop hope, expectations, and imagine a life with him -- and poof, it's gone.

    That undeniably blows.

    Now for the good.

    It's better for you that this character flaw of his was exposed now rather than you were more invested. Imagine if you were married, had a kid, and then he pulls this kind of bullshit. Then not only would you be hurt, so would another person, and you'd have to be connected with him FOREVER because you shared a child together...!

    With the way things are now, you can be rid of him permanently. This is not a situation where the ghosts of this relationship have to haunt you indefinitely.

    Once you have a chance to heal a bit, this also offers you an opportunity you'll be wise to take.

    When a relationship ends in this kind of fashion, what ended it wasn't the ONLY reason it ended. There were other dots that failed to be connected, probably because you wished they would just stay under the surface and not become TOO much of a factor.

    After you get a little separation from this, you have the chance to analytically break down your relationship. You can look at all the times you saw mini-red flags that you passed off as nothing, and figure out if they were signs of something bigger.

    Why do that?

    Well, so in your next relationship, you experience things with eyes that are better equipped to locate issues that you feel WILL manifest themselves in more dangerous ways later on.

    For example, you may date a guy in 5 months that you like, but early on you see something in him that is too similar to your ex in a way deep in your heart you KNOW will lead to disappointment. At that point you have an option. You can wisely part ways, having learned from your past -- or you can stubbornly try to change him the way you couldn't change your ex. A lot of people try the latter, and it's a painful road.

    Einstein would call it insanity, which he defined as doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

    The better you are at realizing what in a man doesn't jibe with who you are at your happiest, the more effective you'll be at finding the right match for yourself.

    There is no guarantee that your next serious relationship will be the perfect one, but as long as you're mindful of not making the same mistakes again and again, you'll be moving in the right direction. And that's all people can really hope to do..

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  7. Chrishell, one of the most valuable things in life that I learned is that "No man will bring you happiness, you must find it in yourself first." Live by this, and when you truly believe that you only need yourself, friends and family surrounding you for true happiness. Then....and only then....he will walk into your life, when you least expect it. It happened to me when I changed my mindset and began to live by thse words. Jan

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